Dissinger: "My life has changed completely"

Kadetten Schaffhausen player Christian Dissinger, one of Germany’s big talents who braved the step into the international market, has gone through a barrage of emotions in the last few months that he is now trying to sort. ehfCL.com spoke to Christian about the avalanche of experiences that he has been subjected to recently.

Christian Dissinger: I’m not sure, to be perfectly honest.

Christian Dissinger: It was completely unexpected. I was hoping to be able to reassure my parents that the transfer to Switzerland was the right thing to do. I was hoping that if I could perform really well during the first game of the season it would take some of the edge off of the worries that they had about me being so far away. They actually weren’t planning on coming until the following week, so when I saw my mom standing at the door that Saturday I knew right away that something horrible must have happened.

Christian Dissinger: It was like falling into an endless hole. I had just talked to him the day before, just boring stuff like insurance, plans for the next day, see you soon, things like that. Both of us were in a bit of a hurry and then something like that happens. My head was a mess after I found out. I couldn’t think clearly. A whole week went by, but I don’t remember much about it, like being in a trance. Handball was the furthest thing from my mind except when I was thinking that I should drop it so that I could be back with my mom to give her the support she needs.

Christian Dissinger: I thought it would be for the best. I wanted to be closer to my mom so that I could be there when she needed help. I thought of all the things that my dad used to take care of for our family and that now I would be responsible for those things and that there would be no more room for handball in my head. My dad never missed a game when I was playing in Friesenheim, unless he had to work, but even then we would always talk in length about the game. My parents were always so supportive and encouraging. It is mostly because of them that I have made it as far as I have.

Christian Dissinger: That was a big part of it. My dad was so unbelievably proud of how far I had come. Even though he wasn’t always the best at showing it, I could see it in the little things that he said or did. He was a bit sceptical about my move to Switzerland, but in the end even he was excited about it and couldn’t wait for the first VELUX EHF Champions League game.

Christian Dissinger: My mom was amazing. She told me straight out that I needed to get my butt back to Switzerland as quickly as I could. She said that I needed to live my life, to remember my dreams and not give up on them. Her incredible strength in such a disabling situation is what really helped me. I spent a long time talking to my girlfriend, my friends, my family and my manager before I made the decision to come back. It was intense, but it helped prepare me for the following days and what the days after that would bring and I am really thankful for that. It helped a lot. I could feel myself slowly starting to get excited about handball again. My Kadetten team-mates and the club all helped me a lot too. They had a lot of patience and gave me all the space I needed to make my own decision.

Christian Dissinger: Hard to say. I think that maybe I might be able to enjoy things even more. I know that I will try to give my mom the same unconditional support that she and my dad have given me all these years. I hope that I can try to give her back at least a little of what she has given me in the nearly 20 years of my life, that I can be strong enough for her when she needs me. There is nothing we can do to change what happened so we have to face it and move on. That life just keeps going was the hardest experience for me throughout the whole thing

Christian Dissinger: I’m in Schaffhausen now, but will try to be in Ludwigshafen with my mom as often as possible. Otherwise I am giving everything I can so that maybe one day I will be able to stand on the podium and dedicate a championship victory to my father. That is my new dream and I will work hard to see it come true.

Christian Dissinger: I went back to training with the Kadetten two days after the funeral. Pushing my body to the limit has helped to free up my head a little bit.

Christian Dissinger: Yeah, I wasn’t sure if I would be ready to play again, but the trainer, my team-mates and my manager were all really supportive. They all helped me a lot. My mom came to the game and told me that I should play for my dad and that is what I did.

Christian Dissinger: Yeah, but a red card because of three 2-minute penalties. In the first half, 5 out of 6 tries found their mark, then in the second half the defence took more notice of me and I missed three shots, but I was still able to get in a couple of assists.

Christian Dissinger: I can’t believe it. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought that I would already be playing in the VELUX EHF Champions League and then on top of that, against the reigning champions. It is sure to be a great experience. My dad was especially looking forward to that game.

ehfCL.com: Why is the VELUX EHF Champions League so important to you?

Christian Dissinger: It’s not just the Champions League. More important for me is training with and learning from top players, both in offense and defence. I would love to win the Swiss league and at the very least make it into the Last 16 in the VELUX EHF Champions League. I think it is the dream of every athlete to be able to measure themselves against the top names of their sport and see where they stand in comparison. The VELUX EHF Champions League is where the greatest of the great meet and that is where I would like to be someday.

Christian Dissinger: Honestly, I think I still have a long road and a lot of work ahead of me before I will even be a consideration for the national team, no matter how much I would love it. I think that if I am diligent in training and keep my body healthy, then who knows? Maybe someday the national team will come knocking at my door. The last couple of months have been such a whirlwind though that I am happy to relax and enjoy what I have right now, in this moment. The future will show itself soon enough.